Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
