I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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