I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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