Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
