i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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