get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
should my penis look like a turkey
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
