Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
