did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Your penis caused this!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
