Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
