I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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