I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
