You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
