just tell him i said nine months
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
