Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
