can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize