I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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