as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
