I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize