I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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