god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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