I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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