I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
