you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Randomize
