2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
