Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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