Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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