We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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