She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize