I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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