Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The best revenge is premature balding
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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