I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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