I hate your face
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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