Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
