When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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