Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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