You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize