yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
