i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
