So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
