Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
