You just made me feel so damn special
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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