Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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