Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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