real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were trust falling into bushes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize