some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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