I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
