He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize