My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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