I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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