no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
