God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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