After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
