I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I bet he comes in French.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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