I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
