My liver just broke up with me...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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