True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
